Awareness is key

One of the two readers of my last blog, even my girlfriend wouldn’t read a blog titled feelings, asked me to elaborate on what to do with this ‘tool’. I thought that would be obvious, but clearly isn’t.

In this blog I’ll provide you with some examples how you could react actively on your feelings. After reading it, you should have a clear idea how to use your feelings, as a start sign for change.

Useless thoughts
Think off the situation that you are working on an important project. Suddenly the boss enters the room and asks you to come to his office for a 1o1 meeting in 5 minutes. Your mind quickly tries to find a reason why he wants to talk to you. Where will the meeting be about? Why are you the only one invited? What have you been doing? What did you do wrong?

As long as you don’t have the answers, you might feel uncertainty. If you are seeking the negative events that happened this week, you will feel uncomfortable or even worse.

When you start noticing your own feelings, you have the option to do something. This is the moment to change the situation in which you are. If you are feeling uncomfortable, you might have forgotten to look at the positive reasons your boss wants to talk to you. This will help manage your feelings. But this is just one of the options. What would be the effect of replacing your search for negative reasons with one of the following questions?

• Does my search of negative issues, help me with the upcoming meeting?
• Can I possibly think of all the directions a possible discussion will head to?
• Can I prepare for this meeting?
• How can I find out where the meeting will be about?

In the case of a mental situation you do not want to be in, ask yourself the following question:
1) Notice the feelings you do not want to have
2) Ask yourself the question: Do my current thoughts help me?
3) Replace your thoughts with pragmatic ones

So, you do notice your feelings, and you did decide your current thoughts aren’t helping you. Replacing your thoughts should be easy at this time. Just think of any thoughts that would help you like “I will ask my boss where the meeting is about”.

I really want to think that I’m the only one that has these feelings, and everybody else directly asks their boss, what the topic of the meeting will be. Anyways… you might still get fired in the meeting, which brings me to the next example.

Getting fired
Imaging your boss fires you. Can you imagine yourself crying like a little baby? I can’t, I haven’t had the pleasure to witness a crying baby. Thinking about what will happen to you and your partner, wife or guinea pig. Will you be able to keep paying your alimony bills? Will you have to sell your Ferrari? What will you do without a job? I can imagine thinking this will result in feeling hopeless. Or are you one of the persons who would blame others. Thinking this isn’t fair. You didn’t think about revenge did you? You might also notice you are getting mad.

So that’s your sign! Step 1 is done, you noticed a feeling. Step 2: Do these thoughts help me? No. Step 3: What will help me? Loads of options come to mind. Beg for your job, update your CV, call your legal assistance, write your memoirs. Choose one and go for it!

You can actually notice you are in a situation you do not want to be in, before noticing your feelings.

The general pattern to successfully resolve your situation is:
1) Notice the situation you do not want to be in
2) Search for valuable actions
3) Choose one and go for it

I really hope you already do this, and I’m telling you nothing new. From practice I know that the persons, who do not take responsibility in there live, do not read my blog anyway. This means you already take responsibility and are always trying to make the best of things.

Awareness is key!
Being aware of your feelings will help you resolve unwanted situations with bigger success, and perhaps personal growth. When you are practicing your awareness of your feelings, you might, from time to time, notice you are faster than you subconscious. Your feelings arrive after you already corrected your situation. Tell me when you notice this yourself.

Next blog I might post about falling in love, and getting out of it.